In the beginning of this semester I had to find my way of working. We practice working without an assignment the last period of the first year but I have experienced the transition to the second year as big.
Also because of all the Corona measures. Its inspiring to see the teachers and meet them at the studio, also talking with my peers I experienced as essential. Most of the time I’m at the studio, if its allowed and I mainly work on weekends.
I find my way, and started making all kinds of work. Little projects but also long term works.
I worked with discipline, sometimes I did not know what to do but just started. I have tried a lot, with many different materials. I would have liked to draw and paint more, but in combination with my busy job I did not succeed.
A big difference from last year is that I started looking at my work during the process.
For example the tapestry, I spent more time watching it then working. I really discover that and I am surprised because by looking a lot I got a relationship with the work that I would not have had if I had kept working on it. I also had the strength to feel what the work needed and not what I thought was needed.
I asked the teachers at the beginning of the semester to look at my process and remind me. I am increasingly discovering that the process is more important than the end result, but sometimes it is such a struggle.
Sometimes I find it difficult to change the way instead of going the way work offers me. The latter is much more interesting, I have already discovered, but it is new and I still tend to be in control. I notice that is a shame because that way I miss things that I would have discovered otherwise. I am very aware of it, but I have to be careful not to fall into the trap.
I discovered that I’m scared and find it difficult to literally show myself. It was during a presentation of a work, I got emotional when we talked about a video I had made. The video was not the work, but it was a study of human movement. The teacher asked me if the video could not be the work. I was confused, didn't think the video was strong enough, had a hard time watching myself, feel myself too vulnerable. And that while I had not even shown the video.
After this experience I made an appointment with a performance teacher from Autonomous. Unfortunately the appointment has been canceled, a new appointment is coming in the second semester. I'm trying to learn to cope with my strong judgment demon and step out of my comfort zone, which will take me further with whatever I'm about to make. I am certainly making progress, but here I still see many opportunities for growth and deepening.
I immersed myself even more in conceptual art because a teacher gave me that feedback to improve my own work and so that I can speak more strongly about my work.
I really enjoyed the presentations, the feedback from my fellow students and the teachers. Very educational. My classmates' presentations were also inspiring. I enjoyed talking to the guest teachers. Very valuable and helpful getting feedback and presenting and discussing my work.
I attend the IST Hacklab this semester, learned Arduino skills. I've never programmed before and found it difficult. Eventually started with a study book at the beginning and built up like that.
The second semester I want to experiment even more, fail more, test more, often get lost, lose control and feel what happens during my creative process. Would like to continue working on my water project. I started this last year and I want to go deeper into the process. I am really looking forward to that. I also want to immerse myself in performance to get even further out of my comfort zone. There are so many things to discover and I’m so curious about that.
Aleida